Thursday, October 21, 2010

Everything You Need To Know About Men

LADIES!  Stop setting yourselves and your husbands up for disappointment.  Please let me help you now and you will be able to live a content and happy life with your husband.

First you have to promise me you will stop doing something.  Okay, now promise me. You have to stop asking your husband what he is thinking about.  One, he is probably honestly not thinking about anything and if he is thinking about something it is nothing that you really want to know anything about.  I learned this around year 5.  See, I am saving you so much time!

My husband told me something a long time ago that I will never forget.  Men are Simple!  He said they need three basic things:
1.  A fairly clean house
2.  Food
3.  I think you know the third thing
And this is not necessarily in order.  He swears that if men have any of that they will be extremely happy.

So now that you know to not ask your husband what he is thinking about and now that you know that men are simple let me let you in on my last secret:

When it comes to anniversaries, birthdays, Valentine's Day or any other day you expect something great of your husband, here is what you need to do.

Figure out exactly what you want from your husband that will make you happy.  Ten days before your event, write this down on a piece of paper.  Tape this paper to your refrigerator.  Go over the paper daily with your husband until the event (birthday, anniversary, etc.).

This will do two things - one it will enable your husband to FINALLY read your mind.  Trust me, he will appreciate this.  Two, this will make you not whine and pout and it will cause both you and your husband to be happy.  You will be happy because you got what you wanted and your husband will be happy that you are not upset with him because he didn't read your mind and that he didn't have to try to be like those guys you read about in your fictional novels.  I learned this about year 6.

Okay now you know how to live a very happy married life - now go do it!


  1. After 15 years of marriage I can testify that all this is true!

    I hope others will listen and not the hard way like me:)

  2. In case there is any confusion, I'm pretty sure she's referring to sex in #3.


I love comments!