When you think you have it all figured out - you so don't

If you have read my blog for any length of time then you may have seen things change.  When I started this blog in 2008 I had 2 kids and I also started making lots of things from scratch, gardening, freezer cooking and canning.

Now I don't do much of that.  I do some of that but not much.  You've seen chore charts and sewing projects - I don't do that or much of that any more.

We have changed our eating habits about - oh - 50 times in the last few years. 

I have stopped doing so much outside activity because I just cannot do it.  I homeschool only one child but he is dyslexic so he needs more one on one time.  I half homeschool two other children.  Homeschooling is straight up exhausting and I did not know that.

I kept thinking I was doing something wrong because I could not homeschool and make everything from scratch and keep a clean house and spend quality time with my kids and husband and serve in the church.

I was failing.  Thank goodness!  No one can keep up that pace.  For you, your list might look different.  You might be a mom, working full time with a husband, a home and some kids to care for and you look around and think - you are failing.  You cannot do it all.

Yep.  You can't.

And if you ever see a picture or a post or speak with someone in person (who does that anymore) and you think for ONE SECOND that they are doing it all.  You are wrong.

They are not.

But you've seen their house and you have had dinner there and you know she blogs and leads a Bible study and goes on a date with her husband once a week.  So.

She's not doing something.  Trust me.  She is totally missing out on doing something.  And you know what - good for her!

We can do one of two things - we can do it all (but we really can't) or we can do a few things well.  We cannot do it all well. 

Do not let anyone else steal your joy.  Don't look at someone else and think for one second she has it all together.  I'm telling you no one does.

Your priorities are not her priorities.  Speak truth into your life.  Surround yourself with someone who will speak that truth to you.  When doubt creeps in - combat it.

When you think you should be doing this and you should be doing that remember this verse:

"And he answered, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself."  Luke 10:27

That is it.

And focus on the jobs that only you can do.  (Click that link - read that post)


This sounds simplistic.  It is.  It should be.  You should stop being so hard on yourself.  You should stop focusing on everything you haven't done and what your weaknesses are.  You should surround yourself with people that are strong where you are weak.  You should love your neighbor.  You should love God.  You should stop thinking you can do it all.

I will try to do that too.

 

Did you watch the debate? And a book recommendation

I did just because I find it all fascinating.  If you did not get to watch it then here it is again:

I enjoyed hearing both sides.  I also enjoyed some discussion from Facebook and one of the quotes I liked was from a friend of a friend:

"Bill Nye's bad comment came toward the end when he brought up dinosaurs (bad move). He was talking about the Survival of the Fittest and what he said was that "[dinosaurs] were taken out by a worldwide fireball, apparently caused by an impactor. That's the best theory we have. And we are the result of people, of organisms, that lived through that catastrophe". Really? A worldwide flood is completely irrational and impossible, but a worldwide fireball that kills giant leathery-skinned dinosaurs, but allows small, fleshy creatures to live, is a perfectly reasonable and accepted "scientific" explanation?"

There you have it - we all will still believe what we do I'm sure but it did give us some points to think about.  I didn't agree with everything on either side but I did hear some new information.

Also, check out Reasons to Believe.

Also if you are interested in dinosaurs from a creationist's point of view I have a neat book for you and your kids.

My son (he's 8) loves this book and asks me to read from it often.  I find it fascinating.  It comes from a creationist point of view and it also explains why the fossils were found in the manner they were and why it couldn't have been millions of years.

We'd really like to find what museums have these skeletons and go visit them.


 

From politics to jean skirts, from guilt to grace

I've slowly been changing my perspective.  It is more of a heart change really.  I don't do politics anymore and I was definitely a political junkie.  But I just don't care to be a part of that world anymore.  I mean it does me no good personally to freak out and worry all the time.

In fact, since I have stopped watching the news the sun has gone on rising and setting.

I also used to pay more attention to the "be in the world not of the world" mentality.  Meaning, what I wore and what I did and how I spoke and what I didn't watch was somehow suppose to show people that I knew Jesus.  I was suppose to be a walking testimony by wearing my jean skirt.

Don't misunderstand me, I'm not making fun of jean skirts.  I own two and still wear them.  My point is this - people.don't.care what you wear.  In fact I think that sometimes dressing like that makes you more unapproachable.

You know what people care about?  They care about how much you care about them.

I've been wrong.  I thought it was better if I wore certain things and didn't watch certain things.  But it really only made people not want to talk to me.

I was missing a whole lotta grace.  Grace for myself.  Grace for other people.  Grace grace grace grace grace.

I was always behind.  I didn't know enough Scripture.  I didn't read enough Scripture.  I didn't pray enough for people.  I didn't knock on doors enough, witness enough. 

Calvinist, Arminian,  premillenial, post millineal, allmillenial, dispensationalist, Catholics, Lutheran, Methodists - exhausting.

I've come down to a couple of things.

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.  John 3:16

  For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.  Eph. 2:8-10

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.   All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”  Matt. 22:37-40

I know there is a lot more to the Bible - believe me I know it.  I also know this judgemental attitude that I have had for most of my life has gotten me pretty much no where.

I'm not saying anything goes.  I'm saying I am working on giving more grace - to myself, to my husband, to my family, to everyone.

I actually find it easier to give grace to non-Christians now than to Christians.  I'm working on this.  I am a work in progress.

I do find that I "catch more flies" with grace than I do with shame.

I also see a pattern of the people in the Bible.  I tended to judge people for their actions.  Yet my actions are no better than theirs except that I have Jesus.  As an adult I am realizing that people all around me are seriously flawed. And they are in desperate need of grace.

You've seen this before:

~ Noah was a drunk
~ Abraham was too old
~ Isaac was a daydreamer
~ Jacob was a liar
~ Leah was ugly
~ Joseph was abused
~ Moses had a stuttering problem
~ Gideon was afraid
~ Samson had long hair and was a womanizer
~ Rahab was a prostitute
~ Jeremiah and Timothy were too young
~ David was an adulterer and a murderer
~ Elijah was suicidal
~ Isaiah preached naked
~ Jonah ran from God
~ Naomi was a widow
~ Job went bankrupt
~ John the Baptist ate bugs
~ Peter denied Christ
~ The disciples fell asleep while praying
~ Martha worried about everything
~ The Samaritan woman was divorced (more than once)
~ Zaccheus was too small
~ Paul was too religious
~ Timothy had an ulcer
~ Lazarus was dead!


“Our worst days are never so bad that you are beyond the reach of God's grace. And your best days are never so good that you are beyond the need of God's grace.”
― Jerry Bridges

 

Begin again, again

I heard this verse today in my Bible study.  I posted it on Facebook and I'm about to write it on our white board.  God knows - He knows I needed this verse today.

In Bible study she talked about the little things - how we let the little things get us off track spiritually - things as simple as a laundry mishap.  Today I got to have that test.

My son unloads the dishwasher for us every other day.  I was in the other room and he came to me with a piece of a dish and a sheepish look on his face.  He said, "Mom, I didn't mean to are you mad at me?"

I told him I read a verse today for a time like this.  He literally asked me to read it to him.  So I read him Proverbs 24:16:

for though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again,    but the wicked stumble when calamity strikes.

I explained to him what righteous meant and how when they make a mistake - they get back up and try again.  Not to try again is to let the enemy get a foothold on your spiritual walk and rendering you ineffective.

I told him we all make mistakes but the important thing is that we get back up and keep going.  He said, "Mom, thank you for reading that verse because I make a hundred mistakes and you didn't get mad at me for breaking this and I am just going to keep going."

Oh be still my heart - hearing those words from my eight year old - they were priceless.  May I always remember this verse and use them to encourage others.

Think on These Things

You know what - the world is sometimes a dark and scary place.  And I tend to lean on the side of fearfulness so it takes me a lot of work to ignore the bad and think on "good things".   

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
 Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.  Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.
And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.  I Peter 5:7-11

 Am I afraid of what could happen to me and to my family?  Every.single.day.  Did I used to be like this - no and I honestly don't know what changed in me except that I recognize this is a weakness of mine and of course when you have a weakness that is where you will be attacked.

I am not pretending to be Pollyanna here.  I just can't listen to the news everyday.  We don't live as the world lives and so we are attacked more but yet we are still to have joy.  We are to still have hope but most of us walk around and talk about what's wrong with America as if this earth is actually called America.

America is in fact a tiny part of this world.  While we have been blessed beyond measure for years and years and years - we haven't always had good times - the Civil War, World War I and the unbelievable atrocities of World War II.  We have come far and we have gone back. 

Ecclesiastes 1:9

What has been will be again,
    what has been done will be done again;
    there is nothing new under the sun.

 The fact is I have to remember that I am here for a purpose - today in this time.

Hebrews 3:13

But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.

Do Not Be Anxious

²⁵ “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? ²⁶ Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? ²⁷ And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?^{[p] 28} And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, ²⁹ yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. ³⁰ But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? ³¹ Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³² For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. ³³ But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
³⁴ “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.  Matthew 6:25-34

Do I say to myself - "What have I done, bringing these children into the world into unknown suffering?  Why did I do this?"  When in fact if I believe that God is in control (and I do) then I know that He has a plan for these children and He has a plan for me.

And I need to be busy about God's work - sharing the gospel, serving others, loving my neighbor.  If in fact I am doing these things - I should have no time for worry.

So I will know what is happening.   But I will not let it consume me.  And I will keep trying to encourage others - because encouragement means the world to me.

Therefore I turn off the news and meditate on these words:

 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.  Phil. 4:8

We are not alone my friends so share your struggles with those you trust around you.  Ask them to pray for you and share encouraging verses.  Don't struggle in this life alone.

And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works,  not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.  Heb. 10:24-25

  
 

Today is a sad day in history

Today is the 40th anniversary of Roe v. Wade.  In light of that I have two posts that I believe you must read.

One is from my friend Sarah.  It is an excellent read.  Hard Things

I know I have forgiveness in Christ.  I know that He cares fo me, and that I should give my worries and burdens to Him.  I have forgiven myself, but forgiving myself doesn't take away from the memory or the pain.  I wish it did, but it just doesn't.

The other is from Cripplegate - The Abortion Memorial.

But I imagine the Abortion Memorial will be closer in appearance to the Holocaust Memorial. I picture walking into the hallway and being hit with statistics. “Seventy million people vacuumed legally—one every 30 seconds. Forty percent of pregnancies in New York City ended in abortion…back then.”

 

Be the Church

Let me start this by saying that I think church is very important in the life of a believer.    There are many verses that tell us to join together with other believers.

Hebrews 10:25 not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near.

Matthew 18:20 For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the middle of them.

Hebrews 10:24 And let us consider one another to provoke to love and to good works:

Hebrews 3:13 But exhort one another daily, while it is called To day; lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin.

 And yet so many people are talking about the decline of the evangelical church in America.  Yep, I agree.  Why do I agree?  Because it is difficult to walk into a church in America and be welcomed.  It is difficult to belong to a church and be loved and be a part of it.  It is difficult to go to church and be challenged.  It is difficult to be a part of a church and be discipled.  It is nearly impossible to walk into a church and hear talk of spiritual things - talk of sports, talk of home life, talk of school, but talk of God not so much.

Why is church difficult for some?  Because so many people want to walk into a church, "serve their time", feel good about it and walk out.  They don't want to live it during the week.  They need pouring into, they don't want to pour into others.  The most common reason for others to not go to church is because it is full of hypocrites.   And you know what - it is!  We are all hypocrites at some point in our life.  There was a great Daily Bread devotion recently titled "Where Sinners Go."  Click the link and read it.   Here is an excerpt from that:

“Hey, Bob, do you know where sinners go?”

“That’s easy,” he replied. “You’re going to tell me they go to hell.”

“No,” my friend responded. “They go to church.”

For years I think I have had the wrong view of church.  I have expected a great deal of it.  I also grew up in a denomination that while it preached the word, it was very legalistic and not grace-filled and that has tainted my view for years.  I thought church should be the end all, be all.  I thought you went there and there were many people older than me who would guide the way.  They would be warm and welcoming and oh so hospitable.  They would have our family over and teach us how to live.  They would talk to us at church and make us feel welcome.

And then I woke up.  I was expecting way too much of sinners, of people just like me.  I tried to start programs.  I wondered why there weren't more programs and I wondered why "those" people weren't even involved in what programs there were.

And then I realized - Gretchen - you are asking something of someone else that you are not even willing to do yourself.  I started to look around me and I realized - this church is full of sinners.  This church is made up of Christians who have been Christians for 40 years and then some who don't even know John 3:16.  This church is made up of people who haven't done anything for Christ (so it seemed) for many years and then there are people who are doing so much their marriage is suffering.  

Oh - so these people are really just - wait for it - sinners - saved by grace.  They aren't supermen and superwomen.

That is when I decided - I need some accountability - am I going to wait for a phone call from my church secretary telling me that they have chosen a group for me OR am I going to reach out to someone else in a similar stage of life I am in and see if they also need accountability.

And at church, am I going to wait for an elder or deacon to go up to that lady with the twin girls who I know hasn't been here before and introduce themselves and show her children where their Sunday school class is OR am I going to do it?

Am I going to send a note to a discouraged lady who I know is having a hard time or am I going to wait for a mass mailing from church?

Am I going to encourage a friend with a Bible verse by texting or calling her during the week or am I just going to wait for the pastor's sermon on Sunday?

Am I going to help out a friend who isn't a Christian or am I just going to wait for a church visitation hoping they will stop at her house to share the gospel?

Am I going to counsel and pray for someone struggling with a sin that they know is wrong but would surely be rejected if they shared this sin with their church or am I going to help her?

What I am saying dear friends is that if you go to a church - remember that it is filled to the brim with sinners and with people struggling with many different things.

Don't wait for someone else to do something else - Be the Church.  Show that person walking in the love of Christ.  Start a discipleship group yourself in your home.  Reach out to that single mom, to that relative that has fallen away - give grace, show mercy and above all  - show them the love of Christ.  You don't have to know everything about the Bible - remember the Pharisees?  Who did Christ fellowship with - sinners - prostitutes, tax collectors, regular folk.

And to those of you who just don't want to go back to church because there are too many hypocrites there - don't let that stop you.  The church is full of sinners.   It is why we go.  I pray that you will find a church home where someone will reach out to you and show you love of Christ.

Here is one of the thousands of reasons I love Jesus (Matthew 9):

⁹ As Jesus passed on from there, He saw a man named Matthew sitting at the tax office. And He said to him, “Follow Me.” So he arose and followed Him.
¹⁰ Now it happened, as Jesus sat at the table in the house, that behold, many tax collectors and sinners came and sat down with Him and His disciples. ¹¹ And when the Pharisees saw it, they said to His disciples, “Why does your Teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?”
¹² When Jesus heard that, He said to them, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. ¹³ But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy and not sacrifice.’^[b] For I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners, to repentance.”

  

 It is not the well that need a doctor - but the sick!

 Now go forth - and be the church!

Family Nights - Contentment

We decided we wanted to do family nights.  So finally I sat down to fill in our calendar.  I wrote in "Family Nights" on one of my husband's nights off.  A while back I bought several books from Focus on the family - Family Night Tool Chests.  These books are amazing resources.  I highly recommend them because they make doing this - easy.  The one we used for this night was Christian Character Qualities.  They also have age adjustment suggestions if you have older kids.

Here is how our night went.

I quickly read over the lesson.  I gather the materials.  There were three pretty simple activities with this night.

The first activity was called Mine!  

I set three bowls out and had one large bowl of coins.  They had to run to the large bowl and grab one coin and get it into their own bowls. Whoever was touching their own bowl when the timer went off got to keep the coins.   The problem was they rarely touched the bowl so you can guess what they said when the timer went off and they weren't touching their bowls - "That's not fair!".   The scripture we read was Luke 12:13-21.  I did explain to them about grace and mercy after the activity and I told them I was going to allow them to keep a little of their money and put it in their chore jars.

The next activity was called "How Much Do I Need?"

We turned out all of the lights and I read about Paul being in prison by candlelight.  They loved having the lights out and then I asked them questions that were in the book.  The verses were Phil. 4:11-13 and I Tim. 6:7-8.

The third activity was called "My Favorite".

In this activity I got a box and had the kids each bring a favorite toy and put it in the box.  My daughter came up to me and whispered, "I don't want to bring Marie Grace."  Marie Grace is her American Girl doll and she wasn't sure what we were going to do with the toys - maybe give them away????  In the end she did bring her and I was proud of her for that.

We discussed that sometimes we all place too high a value on our possessions.

Once we ended we asked them all one thing they learned.  We closed in prayer and had each of them pray.

It was a simple, fun way to get across a good character lesson.  We plan to do these each week!  I can't wait for the next one.