Saturday, March 26, 2011
The Lesson of the Shoe
Marriage is a fabulous thing when it is good and it is a whole other thing when it is not so good. I have learned so many lessons in the last 10 years of marriage with the majority of them being in my first year of marriage.
For me, the first year of marriage was by far the hardest and the worst. Which to most people might be a bad thing but to me was a very good thing because when things are bad they either have to end or they have to get better and by the grace of God my marriage got better and it gets better every year.
It was a warm Sunday afternoon and my husband and I had just had a fight about something that I do not even remember. We had only been married a few weeks and we were preparing to go to a relative's party. It was for a little girl. And since we were fighting I just decided that I would just leave and go separately. So being the brat that I was, I just jumped in the car and started to quickly back up. My husband followed me out and he just stood there as I started the car.
But something in him seemed to just snap and before I knew it, he had taken off his shoe and threw it at my car window. It hit the window with force and stopped me in my tracks. He ran to the back of the car and I just looked in my review mirror and started crying.
As soon as he was out of the way I just backed up and kept going. I didn't even wait for an explanation. I immediately drove to my friend's house where a mutual friend was visiting and he was opening the door to leave and he casually asked me, "How's married life?" To which I answered "Terrible, he threw a shoe at me." Then I went inside the house and cried some more.
My single friends tried to help me and they tried to cheer me up but I was having a pity party and I was not having any of it. I finally dried my tears and made my way to the party where I saw my husband but pretty much refused to talk to him.
When he cornered me and made me talk to him he had an explanation. It seemed I was about to back over the dog - Duke who was deaf and also very slow moving and not only that but I was about to hit the lawn mower and since I wouldn't listen to him he had to get my attention before I caused more damage.
So there you have it - a very valuable marriage lesson - stop and look to make sure you are not going to run over your deaf dog before your husband throws his shoe at you.
Oh wait - was that really the lesson? Oh well, you get the idea. Don't overreact because most problems in marriage truly are fixable when at least one person is willing to listen.