Thursday, June 16, 2011

Marriage Minute - turn that nag into a but

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Stay with me here - today I just want to encourage you to take a minute out of your day to focus on your marriage.  As wives it is sometimes true that we tend to nag our spouse to get him to change or do something we want.  We complain that he doesn't mow the grass soon enough.  We complain that he doesn't take out the trash soon enough.  We just complain period.

How good is that for your marriage?  Let me reassure you that nagging never works (ask me how I know).  It is a marriage killer.  So today just take a minute and when that thought enters your head turn it into a but, here's how.

For instance if you say, "My husband waits till the trash is overflowing before he takes it out."  Say instead, "My husband does wait until the trash is overflowing to take out the trash, but he does it and I don't have to."

This may not be a good example for you because at my house I usually take the trash to the trash can, but you have your own example you could use.  The point is to take your negative thought and turn it into a positive one. 

The reason we should be doing this - "For as he thinks in his heart, so is he"  Prov. 23:7.  If all of the thoughts about our husband revolve around all the things he should be doing and how he should be doing them, then our attitude towards him tends to turn to one of disdain rather than love. 

Even in Bible times, God knew women would be nags:
A continual dripping on a very rainy day And a contentious woman are alike;  Prov. 27:15

Believe me, I'm not saying your spouse doesn't have his own faults, but we need to work on ourselves first.  We do not have the power to change others only ourselves.

Please pray and ask God to change your heart first.  I promise it will work wonders for your marriage.

What ways are you trying to improve your marriage?


  1. You have hit the nail on the head! What saved my marriage was when I took the focus off what I wasn't getting, what he wasn't doing, etc... and put the focus on taking care of him FIRST (no matter if I was hurt, mad, or thought he was undeserving at that particular moment). Amazingly, when I only focused on taking care of him and when I stopped trying to change HIM....the miracle of restoration happened and in the meantime it was amazing to notice that God was changing him AND I was getting my needs met much more often! I was selfish for SO long. It IS completely about being positive, changing ME first and letting God take care of the rest. Wish I had grasped that concept whole-heartedly MANY years ago!

  2. @Tracye
    I wish I had learned this a long time ago too!


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